Background, who am I? ��I am eric... I AM ERIC aaaa; I am a m e r i c a; I am AMERICA!
I AM that I AM... course it�s never been that easy, well maybe it has. I�ve tried to abbreviate this story before and describe only what is important for people to know and understand, but that never seems to be very clear, so now I will explain everything so cut out the pieces you don't like.... use some discernment!!!
Well it was like last year 2 weeks after my sweet sixteenth birthday, I was doing about 110mph to avoid a cop when the motorcycle slid out from under me as I took a turn, and I went flying. Two cops from neighboring towns nearly collided as they watched the motorcycle hit a curb and fly up to wrap around some power cables. Lucky me; I just bounced across a parking lot, with no helmet! I threw that at the cop behind me miles back.... so I ended up totally black and blue, no broken bones, but a cracked head and unconscious in a coma.... not sure I wanted to come back I bet?!?!?
When I got out returning to school that summer the principal said that if "some explosives from the chemistry lab could magically appear in his office," he might be able to get me re-admitted. I figured that would be good for business, school was all a business to me, being a master of man�s capitalistic control from the start. Course I knew one kid who broke into a train car to get hand grenades, and another kid who made his own nitroglycerin, so I wouldn't miss any missed chem� lab thing. But I liked my little pipe bombs and knives, thou I always had my pockets full of plenty else to sell. But with the accident I had finally been caught. The cops wanted to try me as an adult, (never been done before to a minor in NJ at that time) but my dad had the mayor and the chief of police living down the street and the president of the Lions Club next door; so getting an attorney to get me off was easy for him.
The cops knew everything then. The bike was hot, and all the gear on it came from a bank down the road; where they certainly answered the alarm only to find the place empty at 1am. Still as I was resting behind a school when a cop drove up to chat, I had to just FLY OFF, stupid move that ended in the mean accident!!! But nothing was real for me until school started. Course you can all thank me for the alarms and windows locks in all the schools now, since nothing like that was around before my accident. But still worse was walking out into the hallway between classes now after my infamous accident. For years my prime business hours were then, but now suddenly things had turned. Now as I walked out into the hallway, where normally everyone would have cash in hand ready to ask me for something; NOW the sea of people just parted before me.
Wow, I never remembered anything of the accident or coma, and wondered how I�d seen the cops nearly crash into each other. But none of that really phased me; now I was really a ghost, no one would talk to me, no one dared. I was the focus of attention one moment, everyone anxious to buy something from me; but now the next moment suddenly I was a ghost. Everyone feared me, hid from me, avoided me, and certainly never would get caught talking to me.
Wow, what a wake up call that was. Forget the sweet sixteen never been kissed fantasies we all heard about for those upper-middle class spoiled kids growing up in the American Northeast. I�d first been kissed in kindergarten! Had the cutest prettiest "girlfriend" through the elementary years, and then got INTO another... "Experimenting" the summer I left elementary school. Then suddenly everyone was sex happy, and considered me the expert? But, I had my one taste deep inside some girl that summer and would never again until leaving high school. I guess I always saw women as the Goddesses and couldn't bring myself to contaminating them???
But men were trash anyway, always competing and greedy like capitalism teaches them. The one who exploited me in those elementary years, milked me anytime I wanted for years (don't ask... lol...) He was the town supplier for the best drugs and his brother was the coke hound... Which gave me another inside track for high school sales of course... lol.. AGAIN!!!
My dad was ex-military and moved into the most densely populated state in the country to take the train into The City everyday. We got there from Puerto Rico after my younger sister was born. My older brother and I both spoke span-glish so my mom was anxious to get us ready for school.� She made sure my brother was reading and writing English really well when he started school. So when it was my turn to start in school, all the teachers said "Another Weaver, oh no, he knows everything already".... Hey I couldn�t disappoint them; I made sure everyone of these teachers knew I was boss! They would fail me and complain, but not one kept me back a grade, they just wanted me out.
By the time high school came along, I bought and sold everything, broke into anywhere and really was all powerful and fearless..... since no one had a clue about it all. BUT then the accident changed all that.
YES, I WAS PISSED, like really pissed about it all. I felt like I had only done what was in front of me and took advantage of all that I ever saw. That�s what capitalism is all about, every book, TV and Radio teaches this.� Heck, why was it there; if not for me to exploit it. Certainly the greed and control I saw everywhere only encouraged me more. NOW, after my accident, it was all gone; I was alone and really pissed off about it.
So then I heard something about GOD! Yea sure, sounded like another con job, more BS from our corrupt culture trying to exploit me. My Mom always warned me about voices in my head. She was psychic and into Edgar Casey a lot. She warned me how spirits could pretend to be of the Light and with drugs I was like an open target! Now I was totally alone and could hear everything inside of me, so I would ALWAYS confront it. Mom said that anything of the Light would respond to the name of God. Jesus Christ was easy for me... what better WAY to start... lol. So anytime I heard anything inside of me, it would vanish at the name of Jesus Christ!
But then it didn't!
I was told to read the �Prodigal Son� story. Oh sure I remember that, I�ve heard all this bible BS before, more capitalism trying to control. But this time the voice stayed; it didn't vanish when I asked for Jesus Christ... Then I was told that I WAS a Prodigal Son!
WHAT? Who me, lol, sure I guess I exploited everything given to me! Burned it all up too, nothing escaped my wrath...lol.... Ok SURE, I�ll buy that, so I�m the Prodigal Son... exploited all my father gave to me and now I�ve come back home, seems like I get some big party now, like the best little calf roasted for me since I came back home.... isn't that the story!!!
�Yes Son, but you must not steal or lie anymore�
�Oh sure that�s easy, no one believes me anyway now.� With everyone watching me; stealing would be pretty stupid now. Sure I can go along with this, come back �home� and be an �honest Joe�... no big deal, but forget the little calf, I want a FAT RAM!!! Yea, seems like after all I got away with and went through to get here, there must be something more to this. I mean, saved my ass from a mean motorcycle accident so if You are for real... I want a Fat Ram!!!�
�OK Son, but you must not steal or lie anymore�
�Oh sure easy... lol... but I know I wont get some four legged hairy critter, Fat Ram or not, so what exactly will I get if I play the good boy routine for some Source Spirit chatting in my head?�
�Dream about IT�
For two years I dreamed, and I played the good little boy. Never did so well in school in my life. I started to journal all the time, this chatter in my head was like a party. No one else would talk with me, and I really wanted to write about these strange voices I heard and all they would tell me. �I can see a new horizon underneath the blazing sky; I�m gonna be your man in motion ....� (St Elmo's Fire on the Radio now)
The week before it ended I was sitting by a window eating lunch writing in my book. I wrote about this cute girl I saw driving by in a pickup truck. I always analyzed everything. I was thinking, wow it would be neat to have a girl who drove a truck. I was still on my bike, after the motorcycle thing they wouldn�t let me get my drivers license for years. So having a girl who drove a truck would be so cool, I could throw my bike into the back. Of course what else would a lonely teenage boy dream about? GIRLS!!!! Course that only made the chatter in my head excited too!
And then I met her!
WOW.
She drove a little red
Mary and I moved into the house and the fantasy only went off the deep end. She worked part time at Lord & Taylor�s and I worked as a Handyman fixing houses whenever I wanted to. We were alone in this big house playing around all day, taking time to nap and shower, but then back again loving ever second of it.... lol...
Soon she wanted a child! Eeek, wake up call!!! A child, raise a child as a Handyman? Are you crazy? Shit what do I do now? So I decided this lazy afternoon, when she left for work, to sit and read through my journals.... and read and read and reread....
HOLD it, this all happened to me. Here I was reading about some fantasy of a woman I wanted, and then here I was living it. Oh my God, it was really freaking me out. Everything I wanted, everything I dreamed about for 2 years; was all here in the bedroom each night. Even the really far out fantasies of strawberries and whipped cream. Course the pickup truck is the easiest to remark about... but two years of fantasies is really intense.
"You got your Fat Ram Son...."
Yea right... Suddenly I realized it... I HAD GOTTEN MY FAT RAM!!!! Like I got everything I dreamed about and it was all spewed out before me like I had made my three wishes on a genie bottle. But it was more like 300 wishes. So I read and read and reread.... and that night over indulged again in the pleasures of the flesh, I sat up to look and see, wow it was more than I imagined. Cleaner, prettier, sweeter than I could ever dreamed of. Like sure I dreamed of the thin, fine form in lace... lol... but she worked at Lord & Taylor's which sets the standards on the best of lace!� It was like the genie was drunk and spilled out every wish, every wild little detail, all of it spread out before me like a spoiled brats smorgasbord.
The next morning I really had to come to terms with this! God wasn't just fooling around with me. I'd really gotten my Fat Ram, so now what??? And my experiences of life and death weren't just some weird event people write books about. There was something more to this, and I needed to find out. So as I read over my journals again and again the phone rang.
"Good Morning"
"Oh hi dad, what do you want now?"
"Well I still want you to go to college, and your Mom and I decided that our business is doing well enough for us to move back to the tropics. You know your Mom hates the snow and cold up here. So we got out a map and started looking for a major airport in the tropics where I could still travel and work as I need to."
"Yea, so where are you going?"
"We found a brand new airport in Tampa Florida, and your brother is going down to set up an office address now and start at a university there. And I thought I might be able to get you to help us pack up and have a garage sale for us to move. Then if you want, you can come to Tampa with us and go to college down there."
"Oh so you want to hire me to help you move?"
"Well sure we can, but maybe we can give you room and board, instead of just paying you. Then we can send you down to visit your brother for a week and see if you want to go to college down there?"
"Oh ok?!?! Let me get back to you on this...."
"Fine, but we want to get down there during the summer so your younger brother and sister can get ready to start high school"
"Ok, I'll talk with you tomorrow about it"
That night when Mary got home from work, she asked about having a baby again and getting married. I told her I couldn't support a child as a Handyman, and I really did need to go to college. She said she was ready to have a child now, and really couldn't wait any longer her clock was ticking.....
The next morning I went to my dad's and started a garage sale. It lasted about a full month. The last week I was giving things away, but I cleaned out a ton. I soon was living at my dad's house again and visiting Mary a few times back at her parents' house too. Her parents weren't too thrilled about her leaving home for a "handyman" either, so I could see it was likely better for both of us.
Now I was "alone again" journaling. These voices in my head made their case clear. Obviously I needed to take them a bit more seriously now. I mean, a Fat Ram fantasy wasn't the first experience I had of "getting what I asked for." I wanted to test and experiment with it more and found over and over again how much power and truth there was in it all. I mean, I totally freaked myself out a few times, manifesting and making people move and do things. Finally I told them I didn't like any of the fantasy angel stuff. If they wanted me, here on earth doing something for them, I wouldn't tolerate any fantasy spacey alien crap. I was here in the now and would only help out if I stayed in the NOW and not floating around with all this other crap!
It was this "team" coaching me. And it was really weird because they evidently didn't get too many people listening to them at this time. So I would tease them too. Sure they wanted me to write and listen, so I had the advantage.... I was here in NOW and could do it for them!!! So I wanted to know everything, how things worked and how it could all work better... they started here: http://www.geocities.com/stars2man/images/equation.jpg and it only got crazier from there....� They even asked me to publish all I wrote.� I just laughed, and told them to find a journalist, I was here to DO something not just write about it.
Down the road from Mary's house was this little college pub. We would go dancing there all the time. One night I was having a beer and some comic was harassing this poor guy in the front. The guy had a dark tan up here in NJ where it was still too cold out, so the comic was asking him questions. And I heard him say he went to USF, the same university in Tampa that I was going to visit next week. So I went over to talk to the guy.
"Yes I go to school in Tampa. When you get there, find the Sig-Ep Fraternity; we always have the biggest parties. And just say you're with Jersey Frank.... "
That's when I realized whatever God wanted me to do... was in a University.... IN TAMPA!!!! And I knew I had to do it! Cause I could do anything!!!! The university is the only place you can really interact with all segments of our society and culture.... to influence and CHANGE them...
The next week IN Tampa... I took my brothers bike from his apartment and road out to USF. Wow, what a place... felt like an amusement park. Of course Busch Gardens is next door too... lol... which IS a big amusement park. Yes, USF => University of Sun and Fun.... lol...
The first thing I noticed was the songs on the radio would sing to me.... like mirroring how I felt every moment. That was weird (still happens now). THEY told me I could adopt "God's Perception" and everything would click like that. And the more I did the weirder it got. At this time the Fraternities could have big keg parties out in the lawn in the middle of the campus. Soon they had a limit on the number of kegs, but with those big beer trucks who could ever tell which kegs were to be used or not.
And Jersey Frank was like the football star quarterback. Lucky me! It honestly felt like high school again, before my accident.... like being right in the middle of everything, everyone looking up to me all over again. Lol, and these clowns down here were just starting out... just learning how to do all that I over-did up north.
It was like a time-warp. NOW the fun really began!!!!!!!!
I AM in Tampa 1982 let's start: http://stars.dyndns.info/homestead/files/Dreams.htm
replace "dreams" with: start.htm, Transit.htm, Farming.htm, Community.htm, Science.htm, DEGREE.htm
End of ME chapter ONE!
All the children say we don't need another hero... we don't need to know the way home... all we need is life beyond.... we will all understand!! we don't need another hero... we don't need to know the way home...
Tina Turner "Thunder Dome"
HEADER for original Email "INTRO"
From: 
"erix" <erix@t...>
Date: Sun Dec 7, 2003 8:16 pm
Subject: Re: [starchildawakening] Re: storytime/long story
I dream and vision constantly ... and when nothing else works then I know I'm not fully into myself. Why do I need to write about myself again? What do I need to remember and come to terms with? Do I really wanna take over the world? Is that what I see in front of me over and over again? Course it's easy to exaggerate, but what's God about anyway?
Alaphaville "Big in
Yes, there's a reason and everything will happen because I'm big in this land. And I know I can do it all. And I see little pieces over and over again. Diverse pieces coming together from all directions... I'm on a Mexican radio... lol... Wall of Voodoo. "I understand just a little, no comprehende, just a little"...
And my veins pump full of this vibration from the radio and I see and know I can move and rock all over the place completely spontaneous. I know who to see and what to do for getting anything done at this university. And I know they want to link the fiefdoms into a new learning model, some schooling system that RUNS the bureaucracy instead of being controlled by it.... ie = stars usa inc!
The same dream!!! The same vision!!! Same exact things over and over again in my heart and soul!!! Like I could have had my accident yesterday!!!
FUCK PRODIGAL'S SON??? WHAT'S THAT!!! WHO THE FUCK CARES; AND WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO NOW? SURE I CAN DO ANYTHING, THAT WILL NEVER CHANGE! If You want it done, I know I can do it... since all creation will help and guide me to total success.... lol.... all I need to do is keep stepping through these open doors, and have FAITH IN YOU!!!... lol... IN ME!!! I am eric...
So what's the truth in Spiritual Conquest? Who really is in CHARGE? Is it anything beyond us? What if all there was spins around endlessly in cycles starting at one point only to spin through all the options and return to the same point again... bigger and stronger. Every birth and evolution is all about this!!! Each time we spin round, each birth, each incarnation, every single one of us gets better and better more into the Source.
So what are we building now? Information systems. Systems to share and express truth and love! Same old, same old ...BOOM!! What did we create family for? What did we create towns for? What did we create cities for? What did we create states for? What did we create schools for? What do we create for? What do We need to create for? �ALL to SHARE and GROW!
Do I really TALK to anyone else? Is this all just really part of me... struggling, pushing... praying anxious for me to BE ME!!! The voices in my head never stop... Limahl Never Ending Story..... on the radio now!!!!
